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From “I Love Your Energy” To “But What Do You Do?” - The Hot Seat Wake Up Call That Shifted My Entire Business

Let’s start with some honest truth.

Have you ever asked a mentor for feedback, fully aware there was a very real chance it might sting, but knowing deep down you needed to hear it?

That was me last week.

I was in a mastermind hot seat, heart racing, palms sweaty, and instead of asking a safe strategy question like “What should my next launch be?”, I asked something much riskier:

“Can you show me my blind spots?”

No caveats. No softening. Just mirrors.

And what came through cracked something wide open in me. It was confronting, clarifying, and honestly one of the most valuable moments I have had in my business in years.

This blog is your behind the scenes of that hot seat. I am going to walk you through:

• The exact reflections I received

• How I stayed regulated instead of spiralling

• Why your hot seat questions might be wasting money

• How to turn one question into tens of thousands of dollars in return
  

And yes, we are going to talk about emotional resilience, nervous system regulation, visibility and the very real difference between people loving your energy and actually knowing what you do.

Detaching Your Worth From Your Business (So Feedback Does Not Destroy You)

A few years ago, this kind of feedback would have sent me straight into a shame spiral.

I would have:

• Taken it personally

• Made it mean I was failing

• Questioned my entire brand

• Probably cried in a corner and avoided being visible for a while

The only reason I could sit in that hot seat calmly is because I have done a lot of work to:

• Detach my worth from my business outcomes, and

• Learn to sit in uncomfortable emotions without abandoning myself.

This is emotional resilience in practice.

Your body can feel heat, exposure, embarrassment or self doubt, and you can still hold yourself steady. You do not have to shut down, lash out, or over explain. You can receive, breathe and choose what to do with it.

If you want to grow your visibility, raise your prices, lead bigger spaces, or be seen as an authority, this capacity is non negotiable.

You cannot scale on a nervous system that collapses every time you receive honest reflection.

This is exactly why I teach emotional resilience, nervous system regulation and identity work inside my programmes like Ascension Academy and Visibility Rebirth. Your strategy is only as sustainable as your capacity.

Why I Chose Mirrors Instead Of Strategy

Let me give you some context.

I was on the final hot seat call in my mastermind. My mentors have known me for four years. Some of my peers have walked through every season with me.

They have seen me evolve from:

• Charging around $50 a session

• Working mainly with stress, anxiety and EFT

• Running tapping circles and a membership

• Moving into business mentorship

• Launching and growing my mastermind

• Playing with high ticket offers and a new level of leadership

These are not people who only know me from a couple of Reels. They have seen the messy middle, the pivots, the breakdowns and the rebirths.

When it came to my turn for a hot seat, I had a choice.

I could have asked:

• “What should I focus on for my next launch?”

• “How do I fill this programme?”

• “What content should I create next?”

All helpful questions. But not the ones my body wanted.

Instead, I said:

“I do not want a strategy. I want mirrors. What are my blind spots? I am going to close my eyes and just receive.”

And I did.

I closed my eyes.
I felt the discomfort rise.
I noticed the part of me that wanted to jump in and defend.

Then I chose to stay.

This is frequency work. It is not just about what you post. It is about who you are willing to be in the room when it gets real.

What A Hot Seat Actually Is (And How Most People Waste It)

If you have never been in a mastermind, here is a simple definition.

A hot seat is:

• A focused moment where you bring one question or challenge

• Your mentor and peers reflect, coach, mirror and brainstorm

• Your job is to listen, not to argue

• You are there to receive, not perform

In my mastermind, the rule is:

You ask your question, then you stop talking.

People can ask you clarifying questions if they genuinely need context, but you do not jump in to defend yourself. You do not try to sound smart. You do not explain your whole life story.

You listen.

Most people unintentionally waste their hot seats because:

• They ask vague, surface level questions

• They secretly want validation, not truth

• They cannot hold discomfort, so they reach for quick tactics

• They want a new strategy, not a mirror to their patterns

Then they wonder why they are not getting deep transformation or real financial return from their investments.

Hot seats are not just a chance to pick your mentor’s brain. They are a portal into a new identity, if you are brave enough to ask better questions.

The Feedback That Changed Everything

Here is what actually came through when I asked for my blind spots.

1. “You need to be in front of more people.”

One of my peers said:

“You need to be running big events. You are meant to teach in front of a lot of people.”

This landed in my body like a full body yes.

I have been playing with the idea of retreats, in person events and bigger rooms for a while now, but quietly. I had not really said it out loud.

Part of the reason is that in my Human Design, I have the Channel of Intimacy. Somewhere along the way, I had turned that into a rule that I should only work with small groups or very intimate containers.

Hearing her say that I am meant for bigger rooms flipped that story.

Intimacy is not about the number of people. It is about the depth of connection and emotional safety you hold.

That reflection gave me permission to let my future live events and expanded visibility feel true, not like a betrayal of my design.

2. “You have illuminated recently, but you are not fully expressed yet.”

Another peer reflected:

“It feels like you have illuminated recently, but you are still not fully expressed.”

She was right.

In the week leading up to that call, I had been playing with a more sensual, fully expressed version of me that wants to come through my brand. She is unapologetic, magnetic, deep and still grounded, but she is not trying to make herself more palatable.

And I had been holding her back.

Visibility is not just about quantity. It is about honesty. When we keep the most authentic, alive parts of us off the internet, people can feel the gap. They sense our power, but they do not see the full picture.

That reflection showed me exactly where I was still dimming my expression.

3. “I love your energy, but I do not know what you do.”

Then came the line that hit me hardest.

A peer said:

“I love your energy. I love everything you say. I feel like I would love to work with you, but I actually do not know what you do.”

Instant clarity.

Because I had been circling this very question inside my own head. I have been refining my positioning around frequency and strategy, nervous system regulation and sustainable business growth.

I often describe my work as:

• Business mentorship at the intersection of frequency and strategy

• Helping women regulate their nervous system so they can hold more

• Blending deep inner work with aligned strategy to build a business that loves you back

But I could feel there was still confusion in how it landed externally.

Her reflection showed me that people were feeling my frequency, but not understanding my offer.

Since that call, I have:

• Tightened my messaging

• Clarified my core statement

• Updated my Instagram bio

• Been far more explicit when I introduce myself and my work

If you have ever heard “I love your energy” followed by zero actual sales, this may be your blind spot too.

People cannot buy what they do not understand.

The Moment My Mentors Called Out My Strategic Brilliance

Then it was my mentors’ turn.

They said:

“We see you holding back your strategic brilliance.”

At first, it surprised me.

Inside my mastermind, I coach on strategy all the time. We talk about offers, pricing, launch structure, client journeys, business models and sustainable growth. We weave strategy, emotion, nervous system and identity together constantly.

So my first thought was, “But I do not hide that.”

Then I looked at my public presence.

My content leans heavily into:

• Emotional resilience

• Nervous system regulation

• Visibility

• Identity and frequency

All of this is core to my work. But I was not speaking clearly enough to:

• The strategic outcomes I help women create

• The way I approach business strategy differently

• My ability to map out clear, aligned pathways to income and impact

Deep down, part of me felt safer being “the energetic one” than claiming my strategic mind.

So we muscle tested a few beliefs, including:

• “My unique approach makes me a powerful leader.”

• “My message is compelling and valuable.”

• “Part of me feels safer teaching energetics than strategy.”

• “I doubt my ability to deliver strategic outcomes.”

• “I allow myself to fully own my strategic brilliance.”

What showed up was simple.

I knew my work was valuable.
I believed I was a powerful leader.
But I did not yet feel completely safe owning my strategic brilliance out loud.

Old imposter patterns were still hanging around quietly in the background.

Since that call, I have been interrupting those patterns. I have been:

• Claiming my strategic mind more openly

• Making the business outcomes of my work clearer

• Allowing myself to be seen as a mentor who blends depth and strategy, not just one or the other

Because the truth is:

Strategy without emotional safety burns you out.
Energetics without strategy keeps you stuck.
The magic is in the integration of both.

Emotional Resilience: The Muscle Behind Every Big Leap

You cannot ask questions like:

• “Where are my blind spots?”

• “Where am I playing small?”

• “What is unclear about what I do?”

without some level of emotional resilience.

If you are still tying your worth to your business, feedback feels like a verdict. You will:

• Take it personally

• Shut down or get defensive

• Avoid visibility

• Stop asking big questions

Emotional resilience lets you:

• Hear the hard thing

• Breathe through the discomfort

• Separate “this needs work” from “I am not good enough”

• Integrate what lands and leave what does not

This is the exact kind of deep inner work and nervous system regulation we do inside programmes like Visibility Rebirth. Because if your body does not feel safe to be seen, you will unconsciously cap your income, your visibility and your leadership.

How To Ask Better Hot Seat Questions

Let’s bring this back to you.

If you are in a mastermind, group programme or any mentoring space where you get hot seats, here are some questions to ask yourself before your next one.

1. What is my real edge right now?

Is it:

• Clarity in your message

• Strategy and focus

• Visibility and self expression

• Emotional resilience and capacity

• Identity and self trust

Be brutally honest.

2. If this hot seat was worth $500, what question could make me at least $1,000 back?

This is one of my favourite reframes.

Decide the hot seat is worth $500.

Then ask:

“What is the question I can ask that has the potential to bring at least $1,000 worth of clarity, alignment or income into my business?”

For me, that one question about blind spots will easily turn into tens of thousands of dollars over time, between clearer positioning, stronger offers and a more powerful brand.

3. Am I asking for validation or truth?

Both are human needs, but they serve different purposes.

If what you really want is encouragement because you are in a tender season, own that. Ask for support. Let your people hold you.

If what you want is growth, ask for truth. Ask for reflections that might sting a little, and commit to staying open.

4. Some example questions you could bring

Instead of asking vague questions like “What should I post?”, try:

• “What feels unclear about what I do when you look at my brand?”

• “Where do you see a gap between who I am and how I show up online?”

• “What would you say my core value and core outcome are, based on how I talk about my work?”

• “If you were me, what is the one strategic move you would focus on for the next 90 days?”

• “What blind spots do you see in my current business model or visibility?”

These do not just give you tactics. They give you mirrors.

Putting A Dollar Value On Your Question

One of my mentors offered a perspective I loved.

“Put a dollar value on your hot seat. Then ask a question that can make you more than that.”

So if you are in a programme with monthly hot seats, you might decide:

• “Each hot seat is worth around $500 of my investment.”

Then your job is to ask:

“What question would make this feel like a $1,000 return?”

That might look like:

• Clarity that helps you sell more spaces in a programme

• Messaging that finally clicks and converts

• A strategic refinement that saves you months of trial and error

• Identity work that unlocks a new level of visibility and self trust

Hot seats are not just time on a Zoom call. They are leverage points. Treat them that way.

Your Invitation: Ask The Braver Question

So, where does this leave us?

That hot seat showed me that:

• I am meant to be in bigger rooms

• I am not yet fully expressed publicly in the way my body craves

• People have felt my energy, but not always fully understood what I do

• I have been hiding some of my strategic brilliance behind my love of energetics

It also reminded me how grateful I am for emotional resilience. Because none of that landed as “you are not enough”. It landed as “this is your next level”.

And now, I want to hand that invitation to you.

If you are in any kind of mentoring space right now, ask yourself:

• What is the question I am scared to ask, because I know it will show me where I am playing small?

• What feedback have I been avoiding because I do not want to feel exposed?

• Where am I hoping strategy will save me from the inner work of being seen?

You do not build a sustainable, spacious, successful business by staying comfortable.

You build it by:

• Regulating your nervous system

• Detaching your worth from your outcomes

• Letting yourself be mirrored by people who want you to win

• Asking braver questions, even when your ego is sweating

If this stirred something in you, come and tell me your next hot seat question over on Instagram. I genuinely want to hear what this has activated in you.

And if your body lights up at the thought of doing this kind of emotional resilience and visibility work in a deeper way, reach out about Visibility Rebirth. You can put your hand up now, and we will chat about deposits and details when it feels aligned.

Because the women who become leaders in their industry are not the ones who never feel uncomfortable.

They are the ones who feel the heat, breathe, and ask the next brave question anyway.

Listen to the full episode: From “I Love Your Energy” to “But What Do You Do?” - Ep 191

Want support in becoming the woman who owns her frequency and her strategy? Visibility Rebirth opens in February. DM me “Rebirth” on Instagram to save your seat early.

Want more? Subscribe to the Resourced Podcast or explore how you can work with me inside Private Mentoring or the Transcendence Mastermind.

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